Letting My Demons Go
by DarkAngelsShadow
Summary: He said other than a dreamer, I ain't nothin' but a drifter. You could do a lot better. Caryl story.
1. Chapter 1

Hope that you all like this one. Borrowing the idea from Deanandjo4ever1 so you might have read another version of this story, though it was in Meth. Yes I have spoken to the writer and she was very kind and agreed that Meth needed some caryl along with it. This is written with the Christian Kane- Let me go and Demon by imagine dragon songs in mind. Thank you for giving it a chance and reading this. Tula oxox

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN THE WALKING DEAD OR ANY OTHER COPY RIGHTED WORKS MENTIONED HERE WITH IN. **

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The light of the moon was shining its brightest light through the gloom of the clouds that hung around it. Daryl's beat up Chevy truck was parked in the middle of her step daddy's field. They were sitting on his tailgate and Carol was loving up on his rough neck, she always did have a thing for his five o clock shadow. Carol was talking about running away while Daryl was puffin' on a cigarette, just thinking, _huh how am I gonna say goodbye_? _I wanna hide the truth, I wanna shelter you but with the beast inside there's nowhere we can hide._

It had all started when Daryl's older brother Merle had somehow managed to get a job on the Greene family farm. That is where Daryl and Merle had met Beth. The beautiful bomb shell his brother had fallen for she had come with a friend attached to her. His Carol.

Gods how he loved the woman before him but Daryl thought of himself as nothing more than what everyone had every told him he was, a stupid redneck that would never amount to anything. What did he know about "Love" nothing according to his books. Daryl had never been loved had never known love, heck the closes he got to loven somebody was his brother. He cared for Carol, he didn't want to put her through this but his blood demanded he do what was right. Merle new they were getting into deep and had warned Daryl to brake things off, that they would be moving on.

Daryl took Carol's chin into his hand and met her ocean blue eyes. He was staring at her, eyes full of pain, of hunger of something he felt would be forever out of his reach. He said, "Girl you got it good here and you don't need to mess with a guy going nowhere." _ Look into my eyes it's where my demons hide, don't wanna drag ya down with me._

Carol looked into the bluest eyes she had ever known and she knew then just like she had known in that moment they had first met that she loved this man in front of her. Carol wasn't about to let him go, she could see the shadows of his past lurking behind his eyes. She could see the fears of them there because she had her own. Carol only wished that Daryl could see himself the way that Carol could see him. That maybe if he would only look deep enough he would also see hers. Carol took a deep breath and thought of happier times the two of them had shared underneath these same stars.

Carol reached down inside of her and called upon her calm her center. She said "How's about Texas?" Her words were quit, more thoughtful as the full impact of what he had just said finally started to settle in. She swallowed, wishing she knew what it was that he was thinking. As she watched him pull away from her, his eyes where down cast, shaded.

Daryl's lips thinned as he pulled away from Carol astonished at what she had just asked a spark of something hot flashed through his eyes. His thoughts wondering off to wonder if his older brother Merle was having the same problem he was haven at this moment. He got up and shook his head, he punched the side of his truck, his heart was hammering out a wild rhythm of drum beating in his chest. Daryl's head was beginning to spin and he felt sick, but he could not afford to grow soft now. Daryl looked up and then he said, "Ain't you been listening? Woman, it's never gonna work out and I think it'd be a good time now to let me go." Daryl started pacing back and forth there at the back of his beat up Chevy truck.

"Carol, you don't need me baby stop holding on the way ya are. Don't you know, I'm no good for you and it'll only break your heart if you don't let me go." Daryl made the mistake of looking up from his pacing as his thumb traveled up to his mouth where he could perform more torture upon his nail, his eyes met Carol's._ Don't get too close to who I am woman it's dark inside. I can't drag you down with me, you mean to damn much to me.  
_  
Daryl made his way up to a now standing Carol, where she was leaning up against the hood of his truck. Daryl placed both hands flat against the hood his body engulfing hers, holding her there in place. If he didn't have his hands flattened out on that hood he would wrap them around her, fight for her, damnit… no matter how much he wanted to he couldn't. Truth be told, Daryl would much rather be buried in and tied down to Carol for the rest of his life then to be leaving her, but she didn't need a man like him, she deserved better. Carol was the type of woman that deserved to be loved by a man who knew how to love. Daryl Dixon didn't have the first inkling of what "Love" was.

He said, "Other than a dreamer I ain't nothin' but a drifter woman, you could do a lot better." Then Daryl leaned over and he kissed her. _Forgive me woman, I need ya, I just don't know how to love ya don't wanna let you down and I am already hell bound. Though this is all for you woman I don't wanna hide the truth, can you feel it when I touch ya?_

Daryl pulled away from her warm sweet lips. The taste of her lingering upon his tongue and her scent of jasmine was lingering on his senses. He said, "You got another year of college and a good momma and a step daddy and me, I got Merle, $93 in my pocket and this old '82 Chevy." Daryl took one last deep breath of her scent; if he couldn't be with her then he would at least have this. He would carry this memory with him and the scent of her would linger there on his thoughts. Daryl was sick and tired of running away, but he had no choice. He wasn't about to put Carol through the hell that was his life, he wasn't going to condemn her to being stuck with a Dixon; Dixons didn't know how to love. The where hateful men and that made Daryl was a demon.

He leaned into her, his body soaking up her warmth. Daryl placed a light kiss at the base of her neck where it met her shoulder. Carols pink lips where swollen from his kiss as they curled up into a smile and Daryl's heart turned over. Lovely. Pure. Safety. Daryl closed his eyes and took stepped back away from her meeting her eyes. He was going to do this, he would do this… for her.

"So let me go. You don't need me baby Stop holding on the way you are. Don't you know I'm no good for you and it'll only break your heart.  
If you don't, let me go." Daryl stepped away from Carol releasing her from his hold. As he did he felt the tears he'd been hiding his whole life trying to make their way past his eyes. _They say life is what you make of it but damnit I say it's up to fate that it's woven in my soul. My soul is imprisoned by demons woman and I need to let you go. _Daryl reached into his leather jacket and pulled out his black sun glasses.

Carol watched his actions closely she'd had spent over a year with him getting to know this man in front of her. She knew what made this man tick and right now he was saying the complete opposite of what his body was saying to her. She licked her suddenly dry lips her pulse was beating wildly in her chest. So hard and loudly that she could hear the echo of it in her head and feel the vibration of it in her every limb. She yearned to go to him, slide her body against him, to drink up the strength in his arms to belong to this man even if it was to be for only a moment more, but she couldn't. She didn't want to startle him and frighten him off. Carol loved him, yes she had only met him by chance through her cousin Beth but fate had to have had a reason why she had placed this man in her path. Carol had fought her whole life to earn everything she ever wanted and she was prepared to fight for him, even if it was against the man himself she wasn't going to let his demons lead him away from her.

She said, "Nice try but you can't hide behind those shades there on your face." Carol stood up she was going to get her point across to the man she loved even if she had to play things a bit rough. She walked right up to him and snatched those sun glasses right off of his face. "Ya see I don't think you're all that tough." Carol took Daryl's hand and slapped the glasses back into it.

"I just think you're scared of love, you think you aren't good enough, but I think you are." Carol reached up and swept away the lecherous tears that where making a path way down her cheek. Carol needed to be strong, she had a point to prove to him and she refused to give up without making her point clear to him. But her confidence was slipping with every tear drop that didn't seem to affect him. Carol growled her voice full of frustration and want, a want of refusing to give up. "I won't take up that much space. So let me go take me with you baby."

Daryl was getting pissed didn't she see he was trying to protect her. His body was trembling, Carol wouldn't back down. For every step he took backing away from her she would take two steps forward. She was the break of dawn in the blackness of his clouded mind. Carol managed to wrap her arms around his waist holding on to him. She couldn't tell if it was the chill on the air with winter setting in or if it was the thought of being separated from each other, but they were both trembling standing there. Carols arms wrapped around him her head resting on his chest. "It's so cold outside your arms Daryl. I belong where you are."

"We both know that you're not as strong as you think you are. Yes you have strength in your arms, and your body is nothing more then muscle. But Daryl you know it just as well as I do, that if you leave me, you'll lose the tight reign you have on your demons." Carol leaned her head back, her long flowing hair being caught up in the wind getting into her eye sight as she was looking up into Daryl's eyes. Delving into them wishing he'd find the strength to meet her half way on this road they were on and "See" their joined fate.

Daryl's mind was a whirl wind and he could swear he could see his brother in the same situation he was in at the moment.

"So let me go, take me with you baby, I belong where you are." Wrapping her arms around his waist she followed in his every foot step as he backed up. Daryl's body hitting the tailgate of his truck as his eye met her sparkling blue ones. Already he was regretting ever putting her through this. Carol leaned in close to him her forehead resting along his.

"Don't you know I'm so good for you and it'll only break your heart to leave me. I calm the force within you Daryl that longs to break out. You know I can see if there behind your eyes. Two broken spirits can mend each other honey, a spirit like yours can't mend on its own. You've been fighting to long, let me fight beside you. Down the road if you don't take me baby, you'll lose the man you are. Let me walk this road with you alongside of you we can face this together. Learn together, just take me with you baby. I love you, demons and all."

Daryl wasn't listening, his decision was made and there was nothing that was going to stop him from moving onto the new path that awaited him. Leaning in he placed a kiss on Carol's forehead and move to the front of his truck. Without looking back at her he climbed in, his heart dropping out of his chest as he started the truck. Daryl started pulling away, the Chevy making its way towards the highway. He was fighting with a war inside of him, _how could you just up and leave her that way? She's better off. I miss her. Need her. Want her… Love her._

Carol gave into the tears and the vibration of the heartache that she had been fighting back. She didn't want Daryl to let her go, she had finally found her home, she just needed him to see that he had found his in her to. Carol watched him go falling to her knees, her hands wrapping around her midsection as though to protect the unseen heart ache resting there.

From the moment Daryl climbed into his truck he had left her. She was once again on her own. Without his love taking this journey was going to be a hard long road. Carol watched at the old Chevy rolled up to the old dirt road and just sat there teasing her, beseeching her in its ways. Carol got up in the hopes that he had changed his mind, and then watched as he rolled out onto the road. Carol got up and started walking away.

Daryl stopped the truck when he came to the road that would lead him back to the highway. But no matter what way he would look all destinations led him right back to her. _She doesn't need you she don't want ya boy you aren't any good for her_. _She'd end up like ya mama beaten bloody and put into the ground way to early. Boy you aint no good for her keep on dreaming with your head up in them clouds._ His daddy's voice was taunting him making Daryl see red as he put his foot on the gas pedal and started out onto that open lonely road. He'd had enough of listening to others, it was time he paved his own road.

Carol was walking away tears clouding her eyes as she walked deeper into her step dad's field. She hated this, the land she was on the situation she was in. She was never good enough. No matter what she did, Carol was falling apart. She was working out in her head how she was going to finish up her last year of college when she heard tires squealing somewhere on the road behind her. Carol kept on walking she didn't care if the night's air was just filled with the sound of a car door slamming shut. Carol kept putting one foot in front of the other as she was walking right up to that man-made pond. Thinking to herself that Beth must have gotten the same news as she did and was more than likely in the same situation as Carol herself was in.

Till she felt his arms wrap around her and found his scent heavy on the air. "California sounds good to me woman, but as long as your there it don't matter where we are." Daryl walked around her to stand in front of her.

"Your eyes, they shine so bright woman that I wanna save that light. I can't escape this now unless you show me how." Daryl placed his hand underneath Carol's trembling chin.

Tilting Carol's head up and back so that he could make contact with the pathways with in her eyes. Daryl took this chance she was giving him to delve deep within her. What he sought after he wasn't sure until he found it there, hiding behind an unmarked door. Carol's longing her fears and her demons; he was surprised to find they were just as many as his. _When you feel my heat, look into my eyes, it's where my demons hide._

Daryl wanted at that moment for his crossbow to be laying there in his hands while trapped inside the memories with in her mind. The hurt the pain the harsh life this woman had been through caused by others, but most of all caused by him. Daryl would gladly use his own bolt on himself for the pain he had caused her with his foolish actions. His refusing to see what was in front of him this whole time. Time wasted because he had been listening to the voices locked away in his head.

"Woman, I aint much of a prize and I sure as hell don't deserve to have someone as good as you are. You know I aint very gentle, I'm rough. I've never been shown how to not break the things I touch. Baby if you're going to stand by me, take this ride with me then ya best be ready because this road is going to be tough." As if to prove his point Daryl picked Carol up without any warning and walked her back to the tailgate of his truck setting her down on it. Daryl stood between her legs his rough hands clasped over her hips holding her to him. Carol's legs wrapping around his waist as she leaned back onto her elbows so that she could look up at him. Joy shooting throughout her body, her blood coming to life, at the very sight of him there, he wasn't running away he was holding onto her after all.

"Woman, I love ya, and you know my fate is tide to yours. Has been since we met." Daryl dropped his head down resting it on her stomach. He could feel one of Carol's hands slip into his hair and sweep through it. All was silent, neither one of them making a sound neither one of them daring to move. Then Daryl felt it, there was a push against the place of where his head was resting, just above her bellybutton. He couldn't believe it, why hadn't he noticed? Daryl placed his hand softly along it his surprised eyes filling with wonderment as his head came up to meet Carol's eyes. He opened his mouth to ask her the questions he sought after. But the words just wouldn't come forth they were being weight down by the knot in his throat. Carol had her hands spread out along his once she saw the joy shining in his eyes, Carol bit her lower lip and nodded tightening her legs around his waist. She was going to hold onto him with every ounce of strength that she possessed, she wasn't about to let him go once again.

Daryl surprised her; by leaning forward gently into her his lips meeting hers in a slow drawn out kiss, before pulling her into his arms lifting her up off the tailgate. Daryl swung her around as their hearts finally made a full connection. He was ready to give up on himself thinking he was a no good red neck, and his woman, his Carol surprises him. "Take me with you Daryl; we don't care where or how far, as long as we are with you."

"Always woman, you aint ever leaven my side, and I aint ever leaven yours or this little ones."

Daryl Dixon might have been known as a man who was burdened by demons that weighed him down. But on the night he had truly found Carol found his salvation waiting inside of her he had found his reason for trying his reasons for living. Even before he knew about the baby hidden away with in her, he loved her. Carol had proven to him that in the darkness there is always going to be light, for there is no true black and no true white. Only shades of grey, and so that was the name Daryl gave his son when he was born. Grayson Aiden Dixon and that little boy and he mama where Daryl Dixon's world and proof to himself that you can move past your demons, you just gotta find something worth living for first.. A lesson both of the Dixon brothers had learned on that night.


	2. Chapter 2 Die Trying

Had to write it get it out because I don't see the man that Daryl is the man that grieved for carol while she was lost locked away in the tombs wouldn't go looking for her now. Sure Daryl has made leaps and bounds in the way he looks at people and that way has changed. But there is no way that Daryl we all love would leave Carol out there on her own, even if she did commit the murder she had her reasons and Daryl isn't the type that would just say banish her. Please forgive me for any grammar mistakes, I'm not a dictionary. oxox

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN THE WALKING DEAD OR ANY OTHER COPY RIGHTED WORKS MENTIONED HERE WITH IN. **

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**Die Trying**

Daryl came running into the prison. Maggie had just let them into the inner gates and Daryl couldn't believe the words that had fallen from her lips. "Thank gods, we didn't lose you to." Daryl had looked at her in fright before making a dash into the prison in hopes of finding Hershel or Rick. Thoughts and questions running through out his head, _who'd we lose_? "Rick, Hershel? Someone better answer me!" Daryl yelled coming around the corner of D block, he'd been searching for some form of life for over five minuted now and his nerves where starting to crawl to the edge. Running down a dark hall he smacked head long right into Rick. Upon running head first into Rick, Daryl managed to knock himself backwards into the cement wall behind him. Daryl looked up managing to see through the semi dark space the person in front of him. "How many have we lost? Where are Carol and Hershel at?" Pushing his body off the wall adrenalin still pumping through his body Daryl stood in front of Rick waiting for the mans answer.

"Hershel went inside thinking he could help. We tried talking to him, the man wouldn't listen." Daryl knew there was something wrong when Rick wasn't lifting his head to meet him in the eyes. Daryl through that the man in front of him had been through enough and now with more growing sick and passing away this was just Rick's way of responding.

"Did you get the supplies? Did everyone make it back?" Rick brought his head up and asked looking passed Daryl's head.

"Yeah man, we had a couple of close calls but we made it back whole. One of is shouldn't, Bob's lost to the war with in his head drinking his life away in a bottle." Daryl handed the bag of supplies over wondering why the man he called brother was still distant. "What's going on man? Where's Carol?" Daryl was looking behind Rick expecting the woman in question to come walking around the corner.

Rick looked up stepping forward meeting Daryl's eyes. He still believed that what he had done was the best for the group, best for his kids. They didn't need a killer in their midst. She had admitted it hadn't even bothered to lie. "Carol admitted to committing the murders. I did what I think is best for this group, best for MY family, when Hershel said things where getting worse I took Carol out with me to search nearby houses for anything that might have helped." Rick took a step back just now noticing the others showing up in the hall. Daryl was pacing back and forth a bit of deja vu was starting to set in. Rick kept his eyes on Daryl as he removed the gun from his belt and set it down on the ground, he kicked it over to Michonne. Daryl was acting like a toy bull that had been wound up but not yet let go.

Daryl was pacing back and forth one wall to another, no way in hell could Carol be blamed for what she had done. Even if she was the one to light the match in Daryl's mind she was doing what she thought was best. Just like Rick and Carl had done. Daryl's fist started to hit the cement wall, knuckles bleeding pain shooting up his arm from each hit. He refused to stop though for if he did there would be nothing left of Rick.

Daryl's mind fighting for control, the devil was on one shoulder an angel on the other both whispering into his ears, "He left Carol to die… haven't we already been here once? Think of your brother." Daryl would turn his head his anger growing as he'd listen to the voice coming from his other shoulder. "Don't do this Daryl, you know Rick isn't right, he's fucked up in the head… it's just best if you go looken for her." _It's caving in around me, what I thought was solid ground. I tried to look the other way but I couldn't turn around._

The fighting with in his mind, voices warring for their side to win growing louder making it hard for Daryl to think, the only words that kept crossing his mind was… not again won't let this happen again, lost her once won't go through it again…screw this shit. Daryl did what he thought would be right and took his crossbow in hand. "I think it's time for me to go now before I've done more harm than good." Daryl turned his back to Rick walking through the small crowd that had gathered, he wanted to hit the man he thought of as a brother, but he'd had enough of that shit in his life.

"If I could change how this turned out, you know that I would. It's OK for you to hate me for all the things I've done, I've made a few mistakes  
but I'm not the only one" Rick called out as he watched Daryl walking away.

As if the Devil had just removed the key from the wound up bull, Daryl was once again racing down the hall. Maggie had managed to get in front of Daryl he hands out in front of her, "Give it here Daryl; you wouldn't want to do something to might wind up regretting later."

Daryl met Maggies eyes and knew that the woman in front of him was right. He handed over the crossbow giving the woman a nod of his head. Daryl moved passed Maggie and Michonne both woman standing back understanding. Tyreese was there looking confused his brain having a hard time processing what in the world was going on why it was happening. Daryl walked passed Bob snarling at the man, "You best remember what I said."

Daryl came to stand toe to toe with Rick, "You best tell me where you left her, so I can go and fix another one of your fuckin' mistakes." Daryl came in really close to Ricks face, their foreheads touching neither one was backing down. "No, its best things happened this way; we don't need some killer around."

Daryl shoved Rick back into the wall his hands clasped onto Ricks shoulders. "Then why the fuck are you still around?"

"What I did was in self-defense, Shane and the others aimed first." Rick had his hands pressed along Daryl's chest, he didn't want to be here, he wasn't expecting this form of reaction when he had set his plans into action.

"What about Carl? Did that boy's life ended because he deserves to die? Mother fucker, you have no right to say what that woman deserves, she's been raising your kids. Acting like a mother to every one of us, tell me a time she didn't do something for you without your dumb ass asking her to?" The anger building up with in him was pushing him forward as Daryl slammed his fist once more into the wall right next to Rick's head.

"Sometimes the weight is more than I can hold. I'd rather fail then not know. If it takes forever to keep what's left of my family safe then I will die trying." Rick yelled back into Daryl's face the life inside of him bidding him to fight to not yet give up his life. _I am digging a hole, I am taking it all. I am digging a hole to bury my soul, as long as they can stay somewhat pure I can care less about where I end up. _Rick managed to gain some leverage with his feet planted against the way, his arms coming forward pushing Daryl back. "Don't do this brother; she isn't what this group needs."

Daryl brought his head down knocking into Ricks. A blow that landed right on Ricks noise and Daryl tossed him to the ground. Daryl managed to kick the man once and then twice before Tyreese came over coming out of his daze pulling Daryl back. "You all might not need her, but I fuckin' do and you best start prayen that I find her and that she's alive and whole or nothing will save you. You aint my damn brother he's already in the ground, best hope I don't have to bury you to." Daryl pulled out of Tyreese's grip walking past the man he came to stand in front of Bob. Daryl stood there for moment thinking as Maggie came up to him handing him back his crossbow. Daryl nodded at her giving her his thanks and then balled up his right fist slamming it into Bob's noise. "I wish I knew then what I know now, I'd probably do the same. I get the feeling it's planned out from the cradle to the grave. I should have still left your ass out on that road, if you ever leave take his sorry ass with you."

Daryl continued walking down the hallway deeper into the darkness, "Fuck you all, I'm leaving this cement death tomb and heading out to find Carol, or I'll die trying."


End file.
